Why does my life suck?

Not to sound so pathetic or anything, but really - that is how I feel. My life just seems to be running out of control and I really can't seem to get a hold of it. I am just so tiered all the time, which is not OK with me. I am usually such an up-beat person, like I've said before. Any of you who now me, know that about me. I'm smiley, easy to laugh; just an all-around happy person. Not that I have changed that much in the last 3.5 months. I still put on a really good front. I still smile and laugh and act as happy as I can, but sometimes I just can't put on that front anymore. Sometime I just have to stay away from people and wallow in self pity on the couch - never fun. I just wish that I could go down to Washington and hang out with all my friends and get the fuck out of Sitka, but now I can't! Now, I have to stay in Sitka until May. Now, I have to go to class every Thursday. Now, I HAVE to stay in Sitka. That is the main part. Before, I had the option to leave. I was planning on peacing out in February and spending the duration of my treatment traveling to see my grandparents in Florida, and then go to Hawaii for the first time EVER, then I was just going to hang out in Seattle and go to the "support your stepper" in Bellingham in March (I'm still gunna try to go to that!!! I just need to know when it is)... But, now I can't do any of that, and it pisses me off.

I'm gunna try and make a trip down to Washington for my spring break, but man, that is just not going to be long enough...