Life Just Keeps on Rolling...

Well, It has been two weeks since my last confession; haha. Hey, I still have a sense of humor, so that is good

To back it up a bit, I started my treatment two weeks ago. My first shot was difficult, scary, annoying, painful and many more such adjectives. I have my English class on Tuesday's from 6-8 p.m., and on that particular Tuesday, Sunni and I had made a plan to watch Ariel the Beginning. So, I took my shot out of the fridge and went to class, then drove to Sunni's after class was over.

Once at Sunni's, I pulled out my shot and started reading the instructions - fun right. Ya, you can't just go right into it and stab yourself, you have to read-up on it first. As much as I am usually not a person to read instructions, I realized that when you are nervous, step-by-step instructions are very helpful.After reading through the instructions once, then preparing the shot as I read through the second time, I was ready to inject myself. I was holding the shot in my right hand with my thumb over the dosing button, but I couldn't do it. Sunni was right there to help me and put her hand over mine to assist me if needed, but as we moved the needle toward my belly, I went into a fit of hysteria. I was crying and speaking unintelligibly. Sunni was amazing and just did it for me while I looked the other way and tried not to cry so much because my whole body was shaking.

Sunni gave me the shot, and it didn't hurt at all - I knew it wouldn't, the needle wasn't that big. It was just the idea of it I guess. It scared the hell out of me - I didn't want to give myself a shot - i didn't want to be starting the treatment - I was scared of what the side effects were going to be - which turned into total lack of motor control and the need to have my beautiful sister give me a shot.

After the torchure was over, we put in our movie and fell asleep on her couches.

The next two days, I had horrible headaches, but I took IB's and just went on with my life. I am used to having headaches, so if those are the only side effects, I can totally deal with that.

The next week, I was able to give the shot to myself. It was scary, but I was determined - I needed to prove to myself that I could, and I did. I opened up the box and read the instructions again to prepare myslef, then went for it.

Stabbing your belly with a needle is a little odd - but the way the instructions have you pinch your skin and then insert the needle is a good little trick because the pinch actually hurts more than the needle puncture - so props to the people who wrote the instructions.

Today I had to go to the hospital and get some blood drawn so they could send it to my doctor down in Seattle. She needs to check and make sure I'm doing ok. When my mom took the treatment, she became chemo-induced anemic, so the doc needs to check for things like that - make sure I don't need iron shots or other such nonsense.

I take my third shot tonight after class - so that will be three down - 21 to go.

So far I have been good. I am able to work and take classes - and so far i am doing a good job balancing everything because I haven't been violently ill or unable to sleep. I'm hoping it stays like this for the duration of the treatment. I did hear, though, that after a couple months, the side effects can get worse because the meds are accumulating in your body - but hopefully that will not be the case for me, or if it is, hopefully the side effects will still be minimal.

And it Begins

Walking to the kitchen, I open the cupboard. I just stand there, staring.... I reach my left hand in and pull out the zip-lock back sitting next to the two red "sharps" containers. My hands won't stop shaking. After pulling out one of the small white bottles, i return the rest to the cupboard, back next to the red biohazard containers.
"Ok, I can do this - its just like any other pill you've ever taken. Just toss them and and chace them with wter - no big deal."

That is what I was telling myself, but for some reason my hands wern't working. After finally removing the cap from the pill bottle, I had to remove the seal. It was the aluminum foil-looking kind that you have to poke your finger through, but for some reason my fingers were not working and I could not puncture the little devil. "Deap breath, Coral."

I got the bottle open, nearly spilled half the contents, returned the bottle to the shelf and swallowed the two pills.

I DID IT. One down, 179 more times to go! I take my first shot tonight. I'm scared. If my hands shake as much as they did this morning, I could be in trouble :( We'll see how it goes.

European Adventure

The crumbling columns of the Parthenon, the quarky smile of Mona Lisa, the smelly donkeys in Santorini, the croissants eaten sitting on the edge of the Grand Canal.... my European adventure has come to an end, but the memories that I will carry with me for the rest of my life will always be there.

There is too much for me to talk about in one blog; really I should have been doing a weekly post, but I didn't have access to the Internet, so I'm going to give it my best to do a quick summary.

London was so fun. I hadn't been in 7 years, and I missed all my family so much. My cousin Gemma, turned 21, which in London means you are a true adult; being able to drink if you travel to the US is just an added bonus. For her birthday, we went to the dog races. The name of the place where you place your bets is called "Coral." I tried to get a free bet out of the deal because, obviously, my name is Coral, but unfortunately that was out of the question. But hey, it was worth a try!

Dog races are so exhilarating. The rabbit goes buy, the gates burst open, the only sound is the pounding of the 6 dog's legs on the dirt until seconds later the cheering starts. "6 and 3, 6 and 3, come on 6 and 3!!!" That person was doing a forecast reversal. You bet on dogs 6 and 3 and if 6 comes in first and 3 in second, or 3 in first and 6 in second, you win! I always just did a straight 1 pound bet on a single dog. I never won, though. I have terrible luck - just terrible. I should never go to Vegas with a plan to win big because that just wont happen for me.

Cruising is great. I recommend it to anyone. If you find a good deal on a cruise, like the one my mom and I found - it is so worth it. You don't need hotels or food or transportation; it is all done for you and included in the initial price. I gained 10 pounds on my vacation - I'm not exaggerating either - i weighed myself when i got back last night :( But that is what happens when you have access to buffets and 7 course meals in restaurants.
Every night on the cruise, my mom and i would go to our assigned table at 6:45 p.m. and sit with the 6 other people who were assigned to the same table. We would all get our Menus and just stare. Every night, so many options were available to chose from, and there were 7 courses!! Appetizer, soup, pasta, main course, salad, cheese and crackers and dessert.
Obviously people don't have to order something from each category, but when that option is available to you, than of course you have to try a little of everything; or at least I do!!!

My favorite stop on the cruise was Santorini. My mom and I paid the 5 euros to ride donkeys up the trail to a town. It took about 25 minutes. By the time we got off the boat, stood in line for the donkeys and road the donkeys, we only had about a 45 minutes to look around the town before we had to get in line for the cable car to take us back down to the tenders for the ship. My mom and I managed to do quite a bit of shopping in that 45 minutes, though. We are expert shoppers. We can spend hundreds of dollars in a few minutes - not that we did, but we could if we ever had that kind of money. We did do a lot of spending though. In the 45 minutes we had in Santorini, I spent close to 100 dollars. But I loved everything i picked out. I got a pair of mother of pearl earrings, a scrap book, a silly gift for a friend of mine, and a delicious pastry! That is another part of the eating - everywhere you go in Europe there are amazing deserts and pastries. Well, actually I wasn't impressed with the desserts on the cruise - they didn't have any flavor, but every time we got off the shop there was plenty to choose from. My mom got a gelato from every port :)

Paris was amazing. We arrived at 8 in the morning on the train and had to make our way to the bus station with all of our bags. I had the same two bags i went on the cruise with; they were just a little more full, but my mom had to buy an extra one! Navigating the Metro in Paris with our arms full of luggage was an ambitious task, but we made it with no problems. Nobody tried to mug us, we didn't miss any trains or get on the wrong one - Besides being pretty worn out by the time we got to the bus station, it was a great journey. When we got to the bus station, though, the bus we wanted was full, so we had to find a hotel and take the bus the next morning. We were going to take the overnight bus, but after sleeping on a train and walking around Paris all day, my mom was actually really happy that we had beds to go to.

After finding a hotel and storing our luggage, we took the Metro to the Louvre and saw the Mona Lisa. It was obviously crowded, but I got to get my look at it, and a picture of it. I didn't think pictures would be allowed, but they were. The Mona Lisa is small, covered in Plexiglas, and barricaded so people can't get closer to it than about 6+ feet, but it was still worth the visit. Now I have seen the famous painting. I asked my mom when we were walking through the Louvre on our way to the painting, "I wonder what Da Vinci would think about this painting getting so famous." I mean, when he painted it, he couldn't have expected it to be his most famous painting - i just wonder what he would think about it.

After the Louvre we walked to Notre Dame. My mom LOVED the gargoyles! Then we walked to the Eiffel Tower, where i collapsed on the grass and just laid there staring up at it for a good 5 minutes. So much walking tuckered me out. When I finally got up, we went and stood in line for 45 minutes to go up the tower. I was happy just seeing it - I'm an impatient person and don't like waiting in lines, but my mom was determined to go up it, so i went with her. When my mom was 12 or 13, her mom took her and her brother and sister to Paris. Her brother and sister were able to go up the tower, but for some reason my Nana wouldn't let my mom go - she was too young I guess, so because of that, my mom NEEDED to go up this time - understandable.

After the Eiffel tower, my mom and I were going to walk to the Arc de Triomphe and then walk down the Champs-Elysees (Chan-de-la-zan), but we were just to tiered to do it, so we just made our way back to our hotel and collapsed on our beds.

It is was sad that our European adventure had to come to an end. I could see myself living in London - I love it there. I have considered maybe trying to get a job and move there some day - We'll see what happens.

We spent the weekend in New York City before arriving back in Sitka - it was great. The Empire State Building, the Statue of Liberty, Time Square, Central Park. It was all so crowded and loud, but I loved it. I got up in the mornings and went running through Central Park - I felt like a native. I can see myself living in New York City, too. I used to always say I wanted to write for the New York Times, and people told me I would never want to live in NYC, but they were wrong. Now I've been there, and it just makes me want to live there more. Who knows, maybe after a couple months of living there, I would be sick of it and ready to go back to the good-old Pacific Northwest, but for now my dream will be the Times and NYC.

Now that I'm back in Sitka, I will be starting my treatment. Tomorrow to be exact. After my English class tomorrow, I will be taking my first shot! I'm scared, but I'll be OK. I guess i don't want to think about that - in the words of Scarlett O'Hara, "I'll think about that tomorrow."